![]() ![]() Did you know that we all have the ability to choose how we react to everything we encounter in our lives? Think about this for a minute. Why are mistakes unacceptable? Study the motivations behind your fears and you may discover that they are either unfounded or that you are simply putting too much pressure on yourself to achieve goals using a single performance that can be achieved by other means or in other performance scenarios.Ĭhange your reaction to fear and disappointment. And if your goal is simply to play the best you can for yourself and anything less is unacceptable, ask yourself why. Are there other ways you can obtain your goals rather than relying on one performance? Chances are the answer is yes. Why are you afraid to disappoint your conductor? Will you lose your job or your chair? What will that mean to you? Why do you want to impress at a masterclass? Are you looking for recognition or are you trying to recruit more students to your studio? Finally, ask yourself how truly important these things are to you. ![]() Those are the fears that you can eliminate right away! From the items that remain on your list, ask yourself “Why?”. Are any of these items unrealistic (for example, will California really break off into the Pacific Ocean if you have a memory slip during your performance of the Chaminade Concertino?). What makes you afraid to perform? Are you afraid that you will not be perfect? Are you afraid to disappoint a particular conductor or a teacher? Are you afraid you will not win the job or the chair you really want? Sit down with a pen and paper and write down all of your fears regardless of their size and look objectively at your list (if you have a difficult time being objective about your playing, ask a spouse, parent, teacher or friend to look at your list). I am hoping this blog will help all of us learn how to silence the voices that lead us astray after an unsuccessful performance and transform moments of failure into precious examples of how we can improve and truly perform to the best of our abilities in the future. I have only had a small handful of terrible performances throughout my career but all of them have been memorable and very difficult to process in constructive ways. My sound and technique crumbled under my own nervousness and I stood stiffly and ashamed as the host told me I did not quite know the score yet (which I knew not to be true as earlier that morning I was walking around the stage practicing my piece from memory, a work that I have been playing for years and knew inside and out). Today’s blog is a very personal one as this past weekend I gave a very poor performance at a masterclass. How do we silence these thoughts and come back to our truth? How does one pick themselves up by the bootstraps after not performing up to their own capabilities? How do we properly learn from our bad experiences? Friends, family, colleagues and even audience members may sense your disappointment and do their best to minimize the importance of the performance or the degree to which it was unsuccessful but your inner dialog may be suggesting that you did not prepare adequately, do not know how to control yourself or, in some cases, just are not that great of a musician. The aftermath that follows a bad performance may also be difficult to manage. It is sometimes difficult to remember to relax under these circumstances and ground your negative thoughts in this reality. These thoughts and feelings, however, are all false notions of your true capabilities as a musician and are solely based on one performance under one unique circumstances frozen under one temporary moment in time. The frustration, the anger, the tears, the overwhelming self-doubt and the inner voices that seem to shout “FAILURE” as you disassemble your instrument are often deafening. From young students performing Hot Cross Buns at a studio masterclass to orchestral flutists sweating their way through Stravinsky’s Fire Bird Suite to legendary solo artists such as James Galway performing the greatest works ever composed for the flute, every musician has a story or two of a performance gone dreadfully wrong. Welcome to a much delayed, but very thoughtful, Flute Friday.īad performances happen to everyone.
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